Mind Over Matter

Whatever your faith is—or isn’t—there is probably something you are trying to teach your kids, outside of traditional schooling, about what you believe or don’t believe. It may be political, it may be religious, it may be morals, etc.

So, I’ll just come right out and say it.

My kids do not like going to Faith Formation.

Or, at least, that's what they tell me.

Every week, at least one of them decides it's boring. Or a waste of time. Or questions why they have to go when many of their friends don't.

We've tried a lot of responses to this.

One I've found particularly unhelpful?

"Because it's what we believe."

I understand the sentiment behind it. But I've realized I don't really like the message it sends.

"Because it's what we believe" makes our faith sound almost like an opinion we've chosen. Like since this is what Mom and Dad happen to believe, this is what we have to do.

And right now, my kids aren't really at an age where I'm asking—or allowing—them to decide whether they'd like to learn about their faith.

We're Catholic.

Part of raising them Catholic is teaching them about Jesus. Why He died for us. What He taught us. How we're supposed to treat other people. And what it actually means to live our faith.

When they’re older, they may reach a point where they have to decide for themselves whether our faith resonates with them. And that’s okay. That’s completely normal.

Whatever path they choose, they will always have the foundation of their faith to fall back on if and when they need it.

So, anyhow, back to my point about how to answer their protests about Faith Formation.

Since not going isn’t an option, I've tried some other explanations.

"As Catholics, it's important for us to learn about Jesus and how He died for us, and to learn how we can be more like Him."

That's gone over reasonably well.

"You get to spend time doing activities with other kids who are Catholic, too."

Also has gone over okay.

And I’m also not above:

"I'll buy you ice cream if you go without complaining." 🫢

Listen. I may identify as a lot of things, and really humble is one of them.

I am not above encouraging faith with a scoop of chocolate ice cream. /shrug

Nevertheless, every Sunday, someone still seems convinced that Faith Formation is going to be the worst 75 minutes of his or her life.

They could be home!

On the couch!

Staring at the television!

Streaming some unscripted show where they watch other kids play with their toys…and, for the love of all that is holy, the streamed shows actually never end. They just go on forever.

Just think of everything they could accomplish! 😒

Last Sunday was the first Faith Formation class of the new year. And one very nice thing about this year is that none of our kids are preparing for a sacrament.

Don’t read that incorrectly—I value our sacraments. But sacramental prep years for the kids are a tad brutal with attendance requirements. So, for that, I am grateful.

That gives us a little more flexibility. If we're out of town for a weekend, we can attend Mass somewhere else and do their Faith Formation lesson together at home.

But we were home last Sunday.

So despite their desires for imminent boredom on the couch, off they went to their respective classes.

And when I picked them up…

They ALL told me how much fun they had.

FUN.

At Faith Formation.

Well, I'll be.

And since I’m not one to let a perfectly good teachable moment slip by, I decided to capitalize on it.

When we got home, I gave each kid a piece of paper and asked them to write a few sentences about what they'd enjoyed about their class.

Not what I thought was good about it.

Not what their teacher said.

Not what they were supposed to have learned.

Just what they enjoyed.

Then I had them tape those papers on the walls in their bedrooms.

Because I know what's coming.

The Memory Block.

Next Sunday, someone is going to tell me Faith Formation is boring.

Someone won't want to get dressed.

Someone will make an extremely compelling argument for why lying on the couch watching television would be a much better use of a Sunday morning.

And this time, I won’t be the one convincing them otherwise.

They can go upstairs and read what they wrote.

Their own handwriting.

Their own experience.

Their own words reminding them:

I went.

I thought I wasn't going to like it.

And I actually had fun.

Will this magically eliminate all complaining about Faith Formation for the remainder of their childhoods?

Uh, no. I am raising four children, not writing a Hallmark movie.

But what I am hoping is that we are slowly helping them learn something bigger than whether Faith Formation is fun.

Mind over matter.

Stop deciding how something is going to feel before you've even experienced it.

If you spend the entire morning complaining and moaning and groaning in anticipation of having a craptastic time, you’ve pretty much guaranteed yourself a craptastic morning before you’ve even left the house.

Change the dialogue in your own head.

Instead of This is going to be so boring, try I’m going to give it a chance.

Instead of I don’t want to go, try I had fun last week. Maybe I’ll have fun again.

And if it turns out to be boring?

Fine. At least you gave it a shot.

That’s not so bad, right?

And because you have the absolute coolest mom on the planet (I may be biased), I’ll probably still buy you ice cream afterwards. 😊